Felix Zavier Barron (9/15/09 - 1/8/10)

Sometimes it's still hard to believe that my nephew, Zavier is not here with us. It's hard to believe that tomorrow he would have been turning one year old. I remember the last time I saw him - New Year's Eve. I never would have thought that would be last time I would see his smiling little face. He had just started to giggle. I remember that on New Year's Day, Sam and I drove out to Galveston to check out the beach. I wanted to stay at my sister's just to hang out. Sam said that we needed to give them time to adjust to their new little family of four and that we couldn't be there all the time. He was probably a little right...but we didn't go over that entire week. I didn't stop by once in the week to see the little guy :(

For Christmas, Zavier was 3 months old; I didn't even get him a Christmas present...not a real one anyway. I got him a last minute little Santa's outfit. Why? Because I thought he was too little...and I thought "there will be next year and all the rest of the years to come for me to give him something...when he can actually remember."

This is the last time I saw my nephew, Zavier. A clip of our happy little Zavier (and family in the background) on New Year's Eve.



Every day my heart breaks for my family. I wonder if it will ever stop breaking.