Tuesday Truth

I'm so very excited about the steps we have taken to help fundraise for SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) awareness and research in memory of my nephew, Zavier. "Team Zavier" has already raised $1,000 in just a few weeks. The support and response has been incredible.

But at the same time, I am not looking forward to the month of September. Specifically, September 15th...Zavier would have turned one year old. The day that should be filled with laughter and joy and a happy Zavier...will not come; at least not on this side of heaven.

"I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2

Monday Music

Empty me of the selfishness inside,
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
and any foolish thing my heart holds to,
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with You.

Empyt Me - Chris Sligh

Question of the Day

How could I expect to walk without You when every move that Jesus made was in surrender?

as taken from Where You go I go (Kim Walker)

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that God always knows how to pull me closer to Him when I get off track. Quite often I have the same weekly conversation with Sam about going to church. Here is what the last one sounded like...

Lanie: Can we take this next Sunday off from church?

Sam: We took last Sunday off.

Lanie: No, we didn't. We were out of town - that doesn't count.

Sam: What do you think God would say?

Lanie: Log on to www.communityoffaith.tv?

Sam: It's up to you.

Then I remembered what I read in the Purpose Driven Life. We don't worship God for us. We worship God for God. It doesn't matter how we feel or what we think...we don't go to church for us...we go to worship God for Him; that is what He wants us to do. To quote Rick Warren, "Worship is not for your benefit...we worship for God's benefit. When we worship, our goal is to bring pleasure to God, not ourselves."

Needless to say, I'm planning to be at church this Sunday. Thank you God for reminding me that it's not about me...but about YOU, always.

"How" Wednesday

How is it that we can feel nothing and everything all at once? Or at least think we do...

Lesson 37: Home

I'm re-reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Day 6 is about life being a temporary assignment. Rick says the following:

"In order to keep us from becoming too attached to earth, God allows us to feel a significant amount of discontent and dissatisfaction in life - longings that will never be fulfilled on this side of eternity. We're not completely happy here because we are not supposed to be! Earth is not our final home; we were created for something much better."

"When life gets tough, when you're overwhelmed with doubt, or when you wonder if living for Christ is worth the effort, remember that you are not home yet. At death you won't leave home - you'll go home."

Why are we scared of death if we know who and what is waiting for us on the other side? Shouldn't we all be anxious and excited that after this life we get to go home to our Father, God? If only it were that easy...or is it?

"...Look, God's home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Revelation 21:3-4

Monday Music

My Jesus - Todd Agnew

I want to be like my Jesus,
Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus

Friday Declaration

Here is my heart. God, You can have it all.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am thankful for kind strangers. Every morning I take a nap on the way to work (don't worry, I don't drive) via the Metro park n ride. I usually have my internal alarm clock wake me up before we get to my stop. Yesterday, I overslept! The guy sitting next to me wakes me up and says "I think this is your stop, right?" Whew! He saved me from ending up who knows where, on the other side of downtown probably.

Before I took my nap, he noticed me reading the Bible and asked if I had an Ipod and the Bible on my Ipod...which I don't have the Bible on my Ipod. He offered to download his application onto my Ipod next time he had his.

Kind strangers...thank you God for kind strangers.

"Wishing" Wednesday

I wish Zavier was still here with us. He would be 11 months now. We are raising funds to help SIDS research and promote SIDS awareness by selling Team Zavier/Stop SIDS wristbands. So far, so good :)

Here are a few SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) facts:

1. The major cause of death in infants from 1 month to 1 year of age, with most deaths occurring between 2 and 4 months.

2. Sudden and silent - the infant was seemingly healthy

3. Currently, unpredictable and unpreventable

4. Determined only after an autopsy, an examination of the death scene, and a review of the clinical history

5. Designated as a diagnosis of exclusion


Zavier will always be missed and now his lifesong sings.

Tuesday Truth

So...my last no drinking streak ended in May.

I think I might go back to no drinking. I've drank socially here and there...haven't gotten drunk BUT it's been on my mind ALOT; not getting drunk but drinking. Thoughts like "i really want to have a drink" and "just one or two, no more than 3". I don't think I need it but I want it (if that makes any sense). It's like I am being tempted...tempted to think that I can handle it.

"If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Monday Music

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior Please - Josh Wilson

Eat, Pray, Love

Tonight, I saw Eat, Pray, Love. It's about a divorced woman on a journey of self discovery. It's the first book I read when Sam and I were separated and getting divorced. It was the book that actually made me realize that I needed God in my life. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author, said that she needed to find God "right now". I don't have the book right here to give the exact quote, but she said that it had to be "now"...not tomorrow, or in a week, or in a little while. That was a big push for me to start looking for a church home...leading me to my new relationship and love...God.

I've probably blogged about this before...but once my relationship began with God...I started re-evaluating my life and the decisions I had made. Thanks to God, me and Sam got a second chance. The big difference in our lives and the second chance we have is God. We both know that He has to be the center of our marriage. When we got married in 2004, Sam's mom told us that being married consisted of three people in the relationship...you, your spouse, and God. She was so right. I can't imagine it being any other way.

August 13, 2007

On August 13, 2007, my mother-in-law Armandina Andrade passed away after a long hard battle with colon cancer. I think of her often and miss her. I can distinctly remember how she would give you her undivided attention...always. It was never about her...she didn't dwell on her sickness or feel sorry for herself. She was amazing.

There were many times that we'd have conversations about what it would be like when she wasn't here anymore. Mainly, she did the talking and I did the listening. She wanted to make sure all of her kids would be ok. I didn't say much, what could I say? But I listened as she talked about her life and kids...she had no regrets. She lived all out for God and it was evident to all who knew her.

I remember in May 2007, just as she was starting to get sicker...Sam and I had sold our house. She and my father-in-law were the ones who helped us pack things up. She was at our home...sorting through things! Can you believe that...that's the type of person she was...helping out no matter what.

She passed away on a Monday morning about 3:30 in the morning surrounded by all of us. Just that Saturday before, she had us in her room instructing us on how to make chicken salad :) We had the ingredients and everything in her room to make the salad :)

We always knew she was such a planner...she went to heaven the same day she was born and the same day she was married....August 13th.

This was her favorite Bible verse and reflects the life that she lived.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

"What If" Wednesday

What if we trusted God like we trust our GPS?

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Tuesday Truth

I hate feeling helpless.

"...My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Monday Music

In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day...

You Hold Me Now - Hillsong

Lesson 36: You are Faithful

One of my weaknesses is praying, well really it's believing that my prayer will be answered. Sometimes, I have a hard time accepting the following truth.

"You can ask anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name and I will do it!" John 14:13-14.

For a few reasons. One - I get confused between my will and God's will. If I want God's will to be done, why do I need to pray? Doesn't He, after all, know our needs, our thoughts, our hearts? Doesn't He want what's best for us anyway?

I understand that you can ask or pray for anything and the answer that you get may not be the answer that you wanted. But in that verse above, Jesus says ask him for ANYTHING in his name and he will do it. A good friend of mine told me we should pray because God wants us to keep talking to Him, continuing and strengthening our relationship with Him. The truth is sometimes when I pray, I'm not sure that I actually believe God will answer the prayer. Mainly, it's about the past...The one prayer in my life on January 8th, 2010 that did not get answered. It's hard for me to accept that Jesus will give us anything that we ask for in His name like he said he would.

Last night Sam and I went to dinner with his family in San Antonio. We came and went in one night. But before we left San Antonio, Sam's truck did not want to start. Sam tried fixing it for a good while. And nothing...it wouldn't start. While Sam was fixing it, my prayer was simple, "God, please get this truck started....You say I can ask for anything in your name, so I am asking this, please let this truck start." We tried starting it a lot of times...still nothing. Sam said he was praying too. We waited about 1 hour, Sam trying to fix it on and off. Sam tried again...it started!

We were both very excited (because it started) but most importantly because we prayed about it and God gave us the answer that we wanted.

God please help my unbelief cause You are faithful, yes You are faithful. (Faithful, Steven Curtis Chapman)

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am thankful for several things. Here's the one that I want to share. I am thankful that Christian songs are not like every other song. I don't mean the obvious difference in that they are about God. I love that alot of them are 8, 9 minutes long. Seriously. Might seem trivial, but I love that they are so long. It's amazing how listening to a worship song can bring peace after a hectic day.

After I get out of work, I put on my earphones and listen to music while I wait for the bus. Worship songs mainly. Sometimes I just want to start singing out loud. It's hard to describe the feeling other than peaceful. I take that back; sometimes, I get excited and just start smiling. It's like for those few minutes a day, I forget everything else.

"You are my God, and I will praise You, you are my God and I will exalt you!" Psalm 118:28

Monday Music

This is a perfect song to wake up to every morning. We all have something to say.



"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9