Lesson #5

Lesson #5: It's not really all about me. This lesson I've learned in the last couple of years. In 2007 and 2008, I thought that my job, my duty, my one goal in life was this...to make myself happy. Live selfishly and be happy. After all, I had never done that before. In my own little (or perhaps big, I don't know) head, everything else I had done was always for someone else. It was about time that I started living for myself. Little did I know that living for myself would entail making many, many wrong choices.

I was the center of my universe...nobody could tell me what to do, nobody could tell me how to live. Not even God...I did what I wanted, when I wanted, however I wanted.

Late in 2008 once I moved to Houston, God slowly started working in my life. It was like He was saying...you are not so happy as you once thought you were, huh? And He was right, I was very unsatisfied (putting it nicely) with myself. I started getting away from my "I am a rockstar" mentality.

Once I allowed God to really work in my life...my mindset changed...I didn't want my life to be about me. I, now, want my life to be about God. I find happiness in Him. It's not about me at all. It's about God and giving myself to Him. This is my key to happiness.

I'm glad that I learned this lesson when I did. Because if I hadn't I am 100% sure that I would not have spent all the time that I did with Zavier. He, after all, was the very first baby I ever held. Now, I never once held my nine-year old niece when she was an itty bitty baby. I had other things to do. Sounds sad! But it's true. I love that I held Zavier every chance I got and loved every minute of it (well, truthfully, except when I thought he was going to spit up on me...I would now give anything to have him spit up on me). I would give anything.

Sometimes I forget this one very important lesson...but it's an important one to come back to...my happiness is to follow Him.